For Grown-Ups Only

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Supplement to Facilitator GuideFor Grown-Ups OnlyIn each video on the Talk, Listen, Connect: Deployments,Homecomings, Changes DVD, you’ll see a variety of real-life families fromacross the country talking candidly about their everyday challenges.These pages dealexclusively withthe videos on the“Changes” DVD.To view them, selectYou’ll find moms, dads, grandparents, and children of different agessharing their experiences. Viewing these videos is a great way for militaryspouses and other caregivers to know they are not alone and to gainwisdom from others in similar situations.“For Grown-Ups.”You can view the videos in groups or individually. This 5-page guide willhelp you begin discussions about what you’ve seen in the videos.Because of the sensitive nature of the material, it is recommended thatyou view the videos only with adults.In these pages, you’ll find:» Key Messages: Take-home messages from the video» Instructions: How to find each video segment on the DVD» Questions for Discussion: Starting points for you to use in conversationswithin your groups or with individualsA creation ofMajor support provided byPa g e 1sesameworkshop.org/tlcAdditional support from“Sesame Street ”, “Sesame Workshop ”, “Talk, Listen, Connect TM”, and associated characters, trademarks, and design elements are owned by Sesame Workshop. 2008 Sesame Workshop. All Rights Reserved.

Supplement to Facilitator GuideDeployments: Staying ConnectedWith your group, explore practical ways to connect as a family and with a varietyof support systems. This can help families overcome some of the most difficult experiencesduring deployments.Questions for DiscussionConnect with the parent who is away.»»What were some of the ways these families kept in touch with one another?»What are other ways that you keep in touch?How does connecting help you and your children cope with thechallenges of having a parent deployed?Spend special moments together during deployment.Key Message»»»»Stay connected to the deployedfamily member, friends, family, andcommunity.How did the families in the video stay connected within the home?What do you do in your home to stay connected as a family?What are some of the challenges you or your children are experiencingwhile mom or dad is away, and how have you tried to overcomethese challenges?Comfort each other.How to Usethe DVD for Conversation»»»Show “Talking to Military Families”(by selecting “Deployments,”then “For Grown-Ups”).Encourage participants to thinkabout their own families and childrenas they view the video.The questions at right are organizedaccording to the topics and themesincluded in the video. You mightpause the video between segmentsto discuss what you’ve just seen.Pa g e 2sesameworkshop.org/tlc»One of the mothers in the video mentioned that running her ownchild-care program helps her cope with her feelings of loneliness.What are some ways you cope?»The same mom also found strength from her children. How do you getstrength from your children?»How do your children get strength from you?Think About It1. Photocopy the “Reaching Out” reproducible on page 3 anddistribute (one per person).2. Tell the group they are going to create an important “survivalsheet” that they can use anytime to get the help and supportthey need. Look together at the types of resources listed on the page.3. Invite participants to fill in the information on the page.They can share their information with others to give recommendationsor suggestions. Invite them to keep it on their refrigerators or intheir datebooks.“Sesame Street ”, “Sesame Workshop ”, “Talk, Listen, Connect TM”, and associated characters, trademarks, and design elements are owned by Sesame Workshop. 2008 Sesame Workshop. All Rights Reserved.

Reaching Out: Fill in this sheet so that you have at-a-glance ways to connect with your supportsystem, reach out, stay connected with your family, ask for help, and take care of yourself.CHILD CARE PROVIDERS:NEIGHBORS:OVERSEAS CONTACT INFORMATION:RESOURCES ON THE WEB:MY HEALTH-CARE PROVIDERS:CONTACT INFORMATION FOR OTHER GROUP MEMBERS:WHEN I NEED TO HAVE A LITTLE GROWN-UP TIME,I CAN CALL:REGULAR FAMILY ACTIVITIES:WHEN I NEED A PEACEFUL PLACE TO BE ALONE, I CAN GO TO:Pa g e 3sesameworkshop.org/tlcNEW FAMILY TRADITIONS:“Sesame Street ”, “Sesame Workshop ”, “Talk, Listen, Connect TM”, and associated characters, trademarks, and design elements are owned by Sesame Workshop. 2008 Sesame Workshop. All Rights Reserved.

Supplement to Facilitator GuideHomecomings: Dealing With Multiple DeploymentsHelp the group express and discuss feelings associated with multiple deployments.Plus, help participants search for the support they need to address the emotional impact ofmultiple deployments on families.Questions for DiscussionIt’s their job.»How did parents in the video explain to their children why mom ordad had to leave?»»How have you explained this to your children?A mom talked about how difficult it is to explain the concept of timeto children (or how long their mom or dad will be away). What has helpedyou explain time?Communicate, no matter how far apart you are.Key Messages»»»Spend time together; routines help.Talk about how you’re feeling.Accept the support of the peoplearound you.How to Usethe DVD for Conversation»»»»»»Show “Homecomings: Dealing withMultiple Deployments” (by selecting“Homecomings,” then “For Grown-Ups”).Encourage participants to thinkabout their own families and childrenas they view the video.How do parents in the video stay connected to each other?What kind of information do they share?How does connecting help you and your spouse cope with the challengesof being apart?Talk about how you are feeling.»»In the video, to whom did children turn to talk about their feelings?»What are the advantages or disadvantages of having children talk to youor other caring adults?What do you think are the advantages or disadvantages of having childrentell the deployed parent how they feel?Spend time together. Routines help.»»»In the video, how did some families readjust when mom or dad came back?How have you adjusted (do you have any new activities or routines)?What makes it hard to spend time together, and how do you work around it?Accept the support of your community.The questions at right are organizedaccording to the topics and themesincluded in the video. You might pausethe video between segments to discusswhat you’ve just seen.»One dad said, “When people offer support, let them help.”How have you gathered support from your community?»»Has anything stopped you from seeking outside help?Pa g e 4“Sesame Street ”, “Sesame Workshop ”, “Talk, Listen, Connect TM”, and associated characters, trademarks, and design elements are owned by Sesame Workshop. 2008 Sesame Workshop. All Rights Reserved.sesameworkshop.org/tlcWhat helped you overcome this obstacle?

Supplement to Facilitator GuideChanges: Adjusting to a New RealityTalk about the unique experiences associated with having a family member returnhome due to an injury. Discuss the process of reaching a “new normal” and having a positiveoutlook about the new reality.Questions for DiscussionBreaking the news is hard. Be reassuring and involve yourchildren from the beginning.»One boy in the video thought he was in trouble when he wassummoned to be told about his father’s injury. How did you break thenews to your children?»One mom talked about the amount of information she gave herchildren, based on their ages and personalities. How did you know howmuch information to give to your children, and how did it vary by age?Key MessagesRecovery is a slow process. Your children may also need time.»Breaking the news is hard; involvechildren in age-appropriate ways.Don’t underestimate their resilience!»One dad in the video said that he didn’t want his children tosee him in intensive care. When was the first time that your children sawyou or your spouse with the injury?»The recovery process – both physicaland emotional – is slow. The wholefamily needs time to adjust to thechange.»»How did your children react to seeing you or your spouse changed?Reclaim family routines in newways, working together to create a“new normal.”»What have been some of your family’s emotional high and low pointsduring the recovery process?»»How have the changes in your spouse affected you personally?»How have you helped your children adjust to these changes?Change can be emotional, as well as physical.How do you take care of yourself in the face of such big changes?Reclaim familiar routines in new ways.How to Usethe DVD for Conversation»Show “Changes: Dealing with aNew Reality” (by selecting “Changes,”then “For Grown-Ups”).»Encourage participants to thinkabout their own families and childrenas they view the video.»The questions at right are organizedaccording to the topics and themesincluded in the video. You might pausethe video between segments to discusswhat you’ve just seen.Pa g e 5sesameworkshop.org/tlc»What was your family’s favorite way of spending time togetherbefore the injury?»How have you adjusted your family’s routines to account for the changes?Work together and your family will create a “new normal.”»One girl in the video said that her father’s injury gave her theknowledge of the value of life. What have you and your children learnedduring this process?»One boy in the video said that the way he loves his dad will never change.What are some things that will never change in your family?“Sesame Street ”, “Sesame Workshop ”, “Talk, Listen, Connect TM”, and associated characters, trademarks, and design elements are owned by Sesame Workshop. 2008 Sesame Workshop. All Rights Reserved.